When Must We Marry?
"When parents do not allow their children to have their works done independently by thmselves and do not permit them anu sort of responsibility during the shape taking period of theirpersonalities, or belittle and humiliate them and reprimand them with titles such as inefficient and incapable, it is quite clear that these young people can not manage themselves in their youth; and can not even do so in their middle and old ages!"
He said: "Anyway, what can be done now? Now that we observe that the young do not have the energy and readiness to manage their lives, is it correct that they marry and fail in managing their lives?"
I said: "The call of the sexual and spouse -demanding instinct must not remain unanswered. The problem can be solved by certain measures:
1- Teachers, scholars and thinkers of society should inform people about the training problems and teach them the exact way to train their children.
2- Parents must gradually acquaint their children with the responsibilities of life during their childhood and younger years. I have seen meny young people, particularly girls, who can fulfil thir duties towards life management in a nice way. Of course, I am against exerting perssure upon children and the youth, but at the same time, I oppose blandishing them. The middle way must be observed.
3- It is unnecessary for us to wait until a young person is completely ready to manage a life before we propose a marriage for him. Instead, when a youth feels that life's burden has started exerting upon him, he has no choice but to shade himself up, gather up his personality with all its sleeping and potential energies and get perpared to take off on the flight of life.
Many young people have been observed who did not have the readiness of a common life, but no sooner had they stepped into the realm of life management, than they became ready, capable and organised man and women, who could manage a successful life.
4- The period of engagement is a good opportunity for this purpose. If this period is peolonged for a few months, the youth can perpare themselves.(We have discussed this in the last part of this book).
5- The parents and elders of the boy and girl must help bothh of them, and must remain in touch with them in the beginning of their married lives so that they learn the ways, metods and means of life until such time as they can get going on their own and settle down in theri lives. However, marriage should take place no sooner than the sexual and mental puberty is achieved adn the rest of the matters should be settled gradually. The subsidiary matters are subject to the principles. The principle lies in marriage, protecting one's modesty and promotion and progress of man's personality. The rest of the maters are all subsidiary ones and the principle must not be sacrificed for secondary things. But help can be extended so tht the secondary thing reaches and is united to the principle..."
IT IS WRONG TO DASH INTO A ROCK
Some nations and countries have played with the sexual instinct of the youth and been confronted with large-scale disorder, turmoil and corruption. After they had their fingers burnt, know that it was unwise to play with the lion's tail. And now they are gradually turning back from the way they had mistakenly followed. But it is sad that we are proceeding upon the same road that they are forsaking at present! Does it not sound wise thay you must not go in the same derection that made them dash into rocks from which they are now returning from bleeding? Should we not take a lesson from their broken skulls? Has Islam not guided us, saying: