Family in Islam
They are always in need of their mothers. Hence, mothers should maintain, manage, and train them on housekeeping. They should also make them perceive the lifeâ€™s liabilities so that they will fulfill their duties in the future and become the good mothers of other generations.
4. Mothers should not exceed in pampering their children in order to avoid the disadvantages that contribute in the retardation of education and the future unbecomingness.
5. Mothers should attract their sonsâ€™ attentions to the high standards of their fathers. They should insist on reverencing and respecting them. This will improve the fathersâ€™ roles in disciplining the deviate and leading to the good behavior.
6. Mothers should never contend their husbands since this creates an aspect of mutual malice and hatred. Consequently, such matters may lead to the childrenâ€™s disorder and anxiety as well as other mental complexes.
Islam has urged women on pleasing the husbands and neglecting any matter that may enrage them. The Prophet (s) is reported to say, â€œAllah will not accept any dissuasion, remuneration or good deed of the wives unless they satisfy their husbands.â€ â€œWives, who mistreat and burden their husbands with arduous and unbearable things, will not be rewarded for their good deeds, and God will come upon in ire.â€ â€œWives will not fulfill Godâ€™s rights before they fulfill their husbandsâ€™.
â€ Imam Abu Jafar says, â€œThe deeds of wives, who address at their husbands that they did not see any good from them, will be come to nothing.â€
Muslim wives are asked to satisfy, appease, and comply with their husbands in addition to avoid whatsoever may disturb them. This is the only way of saving good education for their children.
7. Mothers should inform the paterfamiliases of every aberrant deed they may notice on their sonsâ€™ behaviors. Fathersâ€™ turn then is disciplining and guiding the sons to the correct path. Mothers should never cover up such deeds lest sons will have motives to keep up the incorrect manners. Mothers are also asked not to make objections to fathersâ€™ disciplinary punishments lest sonsâ€™ rebel and corruption may increase.
8. Mothers should protect their sons from the streets that are full of seductive matters and motives of antisocial behaviors. Nowadays, streets are including, to excess, the aberrant ones and those who are morally affected and the source of childrenâ€™s being polluted and dragged to junkyards of immoralities and serious offenses.
9. Mothers should deprive their sons of any cause or method that may injure chastity and purity, or collapse the morals and ethics, such as sexy books, novels and cinemas, nightclubs and the like. Such sources of seductive media draggle to the lowest levels of whoredom and insolence.
10. Mothers should conserve chastity and good behaviors. They should never display their charms and cast their screens. They should keep up the Islamic conducts so that they would be the good exemplars of their sons in fields of chastity and noble descent. Finally, they should elude any matter that may arouse the cravings and corrupt the moralities.
Honest matrimonial relation creates the precious emotions of the husband and incites him to believe perfectly that he should prefer his sons and wife to his own interests.
Dishonest relations, on the other hand, eradicate the husbandsâ€™ jealousy to their wives and smash any cerebral motive to bring up their sons honestly or care for saving good life for them. This grand disaster affects mankind. Moral corruption of the young is one of the consequences of that disaster. Sons who lack familiarity with affectionate fathers who care for them will most surely opt for immorality. Indeed, death of emotions leads to death of humanity.
Islam has given a great attention to sons whom are required to respect and obey their fathers absolutely. Thus, impiety to parents is one of the grand sins for which God has threatened the hell-fire. Godâ€™s Book refers to the obligation of benefaction and obedience to parents in more than one position.
God has attached the obedience of parents to worship and compliance with Him. He says:
And your Lord has commanded that you shall serve any but Him, and goodness to your parents. If either or both of them reach old age with you, say not to them so much as â€˜Ughâ€™ nor chide them, and speak to them a generous word. And make yourself submissively gentle to them with compassion and say: O my Lord! Have compassion on them, as they brought me up when I was little.
Muslims should treat their parents according to this straight course that represents Islamâ€™s genuineness and constancy in education and teachings. Muslims should also meet their parents with thorough travails of service and charity, and dedicate all of the deeds to the parentsâ€™ use until they are emotionally satisfied. Besides, the spirits of contentment and acceptance should be dispersed in the parentsâ€™ mentalities. Any single word of boredom or annoyance should not be said to the old parents who lack the ability of managing their affairs. In such cases, it is insistently imperative to serve and superintend them. It is quite obligatory to use leniency with them and supplicate to God for their good and meet them with the best forms of dignifying and honoring since these acts leads to Godâ€™s forgiveness. Reports of confirmations of the Prophet and the Imams on the commitment to benevolence and piety in treating parents are uninterruptedly existence in the reference books of hadith and history.
Imam As-Sadiq (a) narrated: â€œO Godâ€™s messenger!â€ a man addressed at the Prophet, â€œI have the desire to participate in jihad.â€ â€œYes,â€ said the Prophet, â€œYou should strive for Godâ€™s sake. If you are killed, you will be divinely alive and rewarded with earnings. If you die, God will be rewarding you. If you come back safe, your sins will be totally condoned as same as the day on which your mother had given birth of you.â€ â€œO Godâ€™s messenger!â€ said the man, â€œI have aged parents who claim they feel at ease with me and disagree to my departure.â€ â€œThen,â€ said the Prophet; â€œYou are to settle with your parents. By the Prevailing of my soul I swear, one dayâ€™s ease you provide to your parents is more preferable to a year participation in jihad.â€
Hence, we notice that sonsâ€™ piety to their parents is more rewardful than jihad, which is one of the portals of the Paradise.
Zakaria Bin Ibrahim said: I had been Christian before I converted to Islam, performed the ritual pilgrimage and came to Abu Abdillah (Imam as-Sadiq) and told of my conversion to Islam. â€œWhat have you noticed in Islam distinctively?â€ asked the Imam. I referred to Godâ€™s saying:
You had not known what is the Book or the believing. But, We made it a light by which We raise whom We desire.
The Imam raised his hands upwardly supplicating to God for my good and guidance. â€œMy father and mother, who is sightless, are Christians,â€ said I, â€œI usually accompany them and eat from the same saucer.â€ â€œDo they have the pork?â€ asked the Imam. â€œNever,â€ I answered, â€œThey do not even touch it.â€ The Imam instructed, â€œNever mind. You should be pious to your mother. If she dies, none other than you should make her funeral ceremonies. You should manage her affairs.â€
As I was back hometown, I began to implement the Imamâ€™s instructions of piety of my mother that she wondered the reason beyond my extraordinary supervision. â€œO son!â€ she pondered, â€œWhen you were on my religion, you did not do this to me. As you converted to Islam after your immigration, I noticed this fantastic piety to me, what is this?â€ â€œA man, who is one of our Prophetâ€™s descendants, instructed me,â€ I answered.
â€œIs he a prophet?â€ asked she. â€œNo,â€ I answered, â€œHe is a prophetâ€™s descendant.â€ â€œThese are certainly the prophetsâ€™ instructions,â€ she expressed, â€œYour religion is really the best.â€ She then Islamized.
Islam is grounded on rewarding the well doers and piety to parents as much as possible.
Islam asserts on mothersâ€™ piety specifically more than fathersâ€™. This is because mothersâ€™ rights upon sons are more abundant than fathersâ€™ are. On the authority of Imam as-Sadiq, a man asked the Prophet which of his parents he should treat more benevolently. â€œYour mother is,â€ said the Prophet. â€œWhoâ€™s next?â€ asked the man. â€œYour mother is,â€ confirmed the Prophet. â€œWhoâ€™s next?â€ reasked the man.
â€œYour mother is,â€ said the Prophet. â€œWhoâ€™s next?â€ reasked the man. â€œThen comes your father,â€ worded the Prophet.
Sons are responsible -before Allah- for supervising and honoring their mothers by saving whatever they need. It may be a part of rewarding the burdens and difficulties that they stood and exerted in educating their sons. As a man was shouldering his mother to perform the ritual circumambulating of the precept of pilgrimage, he asked the Prophet whether he had fulfilled her duty. â€œNo at all,â€ asserted the Prophet, â€œYou have not met even a single sigh.â€
The filial piety and obeying the parents -by serving them- are fundamental constituents of the Islamic education that aims at establishing social ties that should be based upon true amiability and association.