Family in Islam
Islam has called for the spousesâ€™ collaboration in the living affairs and the management of the home affairs. It has called for living associatively in mutual affiliation and relationship. This is the task of the paterfamilias. Islam has bound the householders with attending to their wives and taking part in the home affairs. The Prophet (s) used to participate with his wives in the house affairs and say, â€œPartaking wives in the house affairs is a sort of alms.â€ Imam Ali (a) was wont to help Fatima az-Zahra (a), the veracious and the mistress of women of the worlds, in the housekeeping and the home management. These acts will surely establish a spirit of noble empathy -which is the most significant element of the sound education- in the sonsâ€™ essences.
Islam has urged on mutual respect and abidance by morals among the family members. The older must feel for the younger, and the younger should reverence the older. The Prophet (s) said, â€œThe old should be sympathetic to the young, and the young should reverence the old.â€ Abidance by morals erects a sense of good virtues and values. It correspondingly enjoins the maturity of perfect behavior in the childrenâ€™s minds, and incites to fling in the field of collaboration with the family and the society. Psychoanalysts have proven that the childrenâ€™s religious and moral values mature only in the family surroundings.
The family members -chiefly the children- will suffer mental defects, nervous disorders, loss of sound behavior, and aberrance if the family is characterized by inharmony and disorder. Modern educational surveys show that family disorder and unsettlement is the biggest elements of aberrance. Crises that lead to deviation are the results of family clutter. Consequently, it is essentially incumbent, for protecting the juveniles from irregularity and deviation, to conserve the family settlement by removing all of the factors of distress and confusion.
Not only are fathers responsible for saving their dependantsâ€™ alimonies and fiscal necessities, but also they are required to provide education, discipline, morals, and guidance. They must ensure the high traits and warn against evil.
Imam Zeinul-abidin (a) says, â€œYour sonsâ€™ right is that you should realize their being parts of you and attached to you in good and evil. You are responsible for providing the noble traits, conducting them to their Lord, and backing them in worshipping Him as a compliance with you. They entirely be rewarded or punished. You should act to your sons as seekers of the good remuneration in this world, and justified to the Lord through the acceptable supervision and training.â€
Imam Zeinul-abidin (a) was used to supplicating to the Lord for his son by saying, â€œO Lord! Make them filial pious, godly, aware, listeners, and obedient for Thee, and adherents and advisers for Thy saints, and mutinous and antipathetic of Thy foes.â€
Fathers are subject to bring forth the chaste education for the sons to guarantee their sincerity. The Imams of the Prophetâ€™s progeny regarded this topic highly. Imam Ali (a), the first Islamic educationist, says to his son, Imam al-Hassan, â€œI consider you being a part of me, being me all in all.
Anything that strikes you is actually striking me. Death when draws near to you is drawing to me. Your affairs are as same as mine.â€
Yes indeed, sons are not only parts of their fathers. They are truly their fathersâ€™ all in all. They expose their fathersâ€™ existence and entity. From this cause, fathers should care for their sonsâ€™ education, edification, and perfection in order that they will take pride in them magnificently. On the other hand, sons may be evil and mischievous to their fathers if their education and affairs are neglected. The following are some of the fathersâ€™ tasks:
1. Custody of Sons:
Fathers should take care of their sons by granting them with affection and tenderness, and conferring honor upon them. These matters form the most influential effects in structuring their educational entity and advancing their personalities and mental maturity.
The Prophet (s) had al-Hassan and al-Hussein -his grandsons- in the greatest custody. As he was having them on his shoulders, the Prophet (s) used to say, â€œThese two are my single basil in this world. He whoever loves me should love them.â€ On another occasion, he said to Fatima az-Zahra (a), â€œSummon my two sons.â€ As she presented them, the Prophet (s) smelt and embraced them. It is also related that al-Aqra bin Habis, seeing the Prophetâ€™s fondness and custody of his two grandchildren, said, â€œI do not remember I have ever kissed any of my ten sons.â€ This saying made the Prophet irate. â€œWhat can we do to a man that God has uprooted mercy from him!â€
The Prophet (s) poured his ideal and guidance in the minds of his two grandsons. He also dwelled his merciful tendencies on them. Therefore, they became the excellent exemplars of perfection. Their liberal lifetime accumulated the total aspects of magnitude and divinity as well as whatsoever mankind boasts all over history. They achieved the elevation in ethics and essence, and delved into the fields of grandeur and right.