The Religion Of The Ignorant
The distorted mentality dealt with in the preceding pages persists after the wedding. The bride and groom experience the first pangs of regret when they see each other on the morning after the wedding. Since they have generally not seen each other in that state before, they already begin to repel one another. As they begin living together in the same house, they witness each other's peculiar habits and abnormalities of which they were hitherto unaware. The person who was once so splendid in their eyes begins to lose value, and that soon leads to cooler relations between them. As time passes, these negative emotions they harbor towards one another increase. Since the idea of love between them is superficial, they soon see that the emotions they believed to be love have turned into an enforced familiarity.
For the first few months, husband and wife try not to let these feelings show and to get on with one another, in order not to let down appearances. But as time passes, they begin to lose respect, to be coarse, offensive, intolerant and thoughtless, behaving in such a way as to make it clear they have fallen out with each other. However, they try not to let on to those around them. Nonetheless, everyone is actually well aware of the situation, and this phenomenon is regarded as a natural process. An interesting indication of this is the way that the first days of marriage are called the honeymoon. Clearly the honeymoon will soon come to an end, and years full of exasperation, trouble and even conflict will begin.
As the marriage moves on, general problems such as children and making ends meet, and the psychology problems these engender, come to dominate. Constant tension and limited relations between the members of the household are experienced. Money is a constant subject of argument. Matters such as control and jealousy between husband and wife give rise to tension and conflict. The man constantly talks about work, he never listens to his wife and constantly watches the television and is uninterested in or bad-tempered toward their children. This constitutes the natural climate of the household.
Untidiness generally prevails. Little attention is paid to cleanliness. That is why married people do not want their homes to be seen under normal conditions. The furniture, accessories, tablecloths etc. in the house are arranged not for the comfort of those living there, but in order to be appreciated by others. A separate room is set aside for guests. Those living in the house do not generally use that part of the house used for show. The most expensive and best-quality items in the house are exhibited there for the benefit of guests.
Apart from the house, the children are the main element of display. Indeed, there is an enormous distortion in the attitude towards children right from the outset. Mother and father imagine that they own their children, as if they had given them life. Nobody thinks that it is really Allah Who creates and is the true Lord of everything. Parents who assume ownership of their children then begin frequently referring to how intelligent or attractive their children are, and boast of the fact, as if their children's beauty or intelligence actually stemmed from them. They even take credit for any positive features in their children by saying, "Of course he takes after me." This showing off by means of the children increases as time passes. The schools they attend, their circle of friends and the places they visit are all described to everyone. In addition to boasting through one's children, the custom of making them the sole purpose and meaning of one's life is also widespread among families of the Religion of the Ignorant.
Some parents regard their children as their sole reason for living, and claim that they have devoted their entire lives to preparing a better future for them. The fact is, however, that the sole aim of every human life is to serve Allah. Life is to be devoted solely to Allah. Caring for one's children is a form of religious observance to be performed solely for His approval.
Women's entire lives are focused on the aim of getting married. From earliest childhood, this objective is held up as the most important goal in life. Girls regulate their weight, clothes, education, tastes and acquaintances in the hope of an advantageous marriage. A great many girls go to university to "find a husband," because an educated husband, especially a successful one, is seen as a guarantee in life. In her dreams, a young girl establishes a model husband who will maintain, protect and watch over her, and so spends her youth looking for him. The fact is, however, as revealed in the Qur'an, that it is Allah, and Him only Who feeds and protects people, and Who is worthy of one's hopes of assistance.
Within this logic, marriage ceases to be a legitimate manner of expressing love between two people and turns into an institutionâ€”by which name it is often referred to. The lovelessness, lack of respect and behavioral defects that soon arise give couples the feeling that they have made a mistake. Yet there is now generally no turning back. Even if there were, that would be no solution. Just like marriage itself, divorce will take place according to the requirements of Ignorantism, and the life that follows will be led according to those same requirements.
If an error is to be found, it needs to sought not in isolated events, but in the false philosophy underneath them, on which the entire distorted system is erected, and which leads people to unhappiness, disappointment and loss in every situationâ€”in other words, in the Religion of the Ignorant itself.